Hi everyone. I'm sorry that my last post alarmed some people - my apologies; that was never the intention. I meant only to excuse myself for awhile and to offer some explanation for future somber moods. Thank you to the many friends who have left messages - your support and love have helped ease the pain of the last days.

I'm not really sure where to begin or what to say, so please overlook my clumsiness.

We were expecting a baby. It was the most unexpected news, and after the initial shock, also the most welcome news. There were mistakes made at the hospital that made us hesitant to tell anyone, but a couple of weeks ago, things seemed to be clarified and we were looking forward to sharing our happy news with everyone. We had only one last ultrasound to go through to check if the baby was likely to have Down's Syndrome, and that was scheduled for Monday. Everything else was going perfectly. But when we saw the baby on the monitor Monday morning, it was obvious that the little heart had stopped beating.

No one knows what happened, or why. It's been an extraordinary week. I had no idea that people could cry so much, or feel so much pain. We are doing our best to hold to the happy memories - and despite how briefly we were able to cherish this baby, there are a lot of positives to hold on to. How can one tiny creature have such a tremendous impact in so short a time? We were able to feel the baby kicking, which is a miracle we treasure, and we saw him or her very active and apparently healthy during an earlier ultrasound. There are memories of joy mixed in with the sadness.

I've been working on a gift for the baby during the past couple of days. The intangibility of the loss has bothered me terribly, so I hoped that creating something that we could see and feel might help build some sense of closure. Keeping my hands busy has allowed my mind to start accepting the loss, too.

I don't know what else to say at this point. Thank you for being there for us.